I can’t remember what it’s like to diet. What it’s like to obsess about my weight, every second of every day. What it’s like to have good days and bad days. Mostly bad. What it’s like to feel miserable and out of control around food. I just can’t remember what it’s really like. I’m not boasting, honestly. In fact, I’ve been been feeling somewhat uneasy about it, guilty even.
It occurred to me, sitting at the kitchen table one meal time at our Italian Retreat last month, that I have forgotten what it’s like to be consumed with guilt, with thoughts about what, how much and when I eat – day in day out. I can talk about it, about how I used to think about food and my body all the time, but I can’t feel what it was like anymore. It’s as if I’m talking about someone else’s life.
For years I talked about my experience of dieting and constantly hating my body on workshops and courses and I felt it. As I spoke, I could feel my shame, the constant sense of guilt, the desperation and hopelessness I lived with all the time. I sometimes had tears in my eyes when I shared my experience of overeating. Something has shifted. This year as we ran our retreat, I realised that I could still talk about my old patterns around food and weight loss, (of course I remember the facts…the stories) but that I felt a bit detached from it. I tried hard to re-connect with the feelings and I was surprised that I just couldn’t. It’s almost 20 years since I stopped dieting. This is how long it has taken me to feel completely relaxed and free from food and weight obsession.
Please, don’t panic! This doesn’t mean it’s going to take you 2 decades to feel the life changing benefits of stepping off the diet treadmill. It didn’t take me this long to taste the freedom, to feel so much more in control, for food not to be an issue, for my weight to stabilise and for weight loss to be off the agenda. That happened so, so much more quickly. I’ve beeb feeling great in my body and enjoying my relaxed, balanced relationship with food for many years.
But today I seem to have reached a new stage. I’ve gone I way Beyond Chocolate. I feel completely at ease about how I eat and how I look. And that’s it. End of story. No drama. No dilemmas. No doubt. And for a while, I’ve felt a little uneasy about that. It’s new, unfamiliar. If I can’t feel all the emotions I used to feel, if it’s all way in the past, can I still do this work with people? If I can’t connect with the gut wrenching shame about the size of my body, will I still be able to empathise and be real? I’m relieved to say that the answer to both of those questions, after much reflecting, talking and soul-searching, is a resounding YES. Of course I can. Maybe even more so.
And I am writing about it because I’m even starting to feel excited now. This is what’s possible. We don’t have to stay shackled to the diets for life. We don’t have to be weighed down by the guilt and the feeling that we are not good enough, don’t try hard enough, just need to find the right plan, living from one weight loss solution to the next. We don’t have to reach old age, still believing that we are lazy, greedy and untrustworthy around food. We don’t have to spend our lives defined by the size of our bodies or by the fact that we’ve decided not to be. I don’t have to clamour for fat acceptance, or anything else. I am not my just my body. Never have been. We are all so much more than the size of our bodies and our relationships with food and weight is wonderfully complex. Reaching for a goal beyond a number on the scales or the size on a dress label will enrich our lives and set us free.
It has taken effort, commitment and patience, a willingness to step beyond the traditional beliefs about weight loss and healthy eating. I have been bold, brave, brazen even. And it has paid off. One hundred fold.
Are you ready to be bold? Are you ready for something truly different? Are you ready to be FREE?
The old saying couldn’t be more apt: If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.
Time to say ENOUGH to the diets, the life-style changes, the detoxes, the healthy eating plans, the new fangled food discoveries. However scientific, proven, documented, published… However many friends you have who have lost weight on them, however many times they have worked for you, however magical, sensible, logical or promising they seem – you will get what you’ve always got – and if you are here, you didn’t get what you are looking for.
It’s time to jump ship and join the thousands of women like you who are going Beyond Chocolate…
Take the first step now:
Do our Online Course.
Come on a Workshop or a Retreat.
Like our FB page.
If you want something different for yourself, DO IT TODAY
Don’t waste another moment. You don’t deserve another twenty years of this.