I'm a bit rubbish at meditating....what about you?

Have you ever had a go at meditating? I have, many times, and it turns out I’m pretty rubbish at it. And I’m OK with that... now. Because I eventually found out that it’s not my fault. For some of us, especially those with trauma or suffering from chronic conditions and people who generally have a hard time sitting still, traditional forms of sitting meditation are not always the best thing… But for years, I gave myself a really hard time for not being a good at it. I got sucked into the wellness industry (which, by the way, operates much like the diet and “healthy” eating industry) and lured in by the message I saw everywhere: It's good for you, it will make you feel better and everyone should do it. So just like dieting, I thought I just needed to try harder. I spent years trying. Years believing that that there was something wrong with me. Ashamed about being unwilling and unable to do more than a few minutes at a time - on the days when I actually did it (because mostly, I didn’t). When I did manage to get myself onto the cushion, I would sit there, desperately trying to ignore the rising waves of panic gripping my throat and twisting my insides. Barely breathing, heart thumping. Back aching and joints throbbing with pain. It wasn’t relaxing or nourishing. It was always hard and exhausting and I never felt better for it. However much I persevered. Then one day at a meditation workshop (I really did try hard) a wise teacher, Christina Feldman, set me free. “I don’t know why in the West there’s this hierarchy....why people think sitting still on your butt, crossed legged is the best way to meditate.” she said. “There’s no right way to be mindful. I certainly wouldn’t suggest sitting meditation if there’s trauma involved. You had asthma as a kid? How many hours did you spend sitting on a chair trying to breathe? That’s trauma right there. Best you don’t. You like to move? Stop trying to sit still and move mindfully instead!” She told me. And just like that, I did. I discovered mindful movement and threw myself into it. Marvelling at how easy it was to tune in and stay close to myself as I jigged, bounced and swayed to the music. Astonished by the growing ease I felt at being with my thoughts and emotions, even the challenging ones. Thrilled by the similarities with what we were teaching at Beyond Chocolate. Turns out that there as many ways to meditate as there ways to eat… Delighted at how good my body felt afterwards. And…oh my goodness it was quite a lot of FUN too! So if you also find that you’re not a “good meditator” and you like the idea of being more mindful to support yourself in your relationship with food and your body, here are a few ways you can do that with Beyond Chocolate…no sitting cross legged on a cushion, no pushing yourself, no way to get it wrong.


Beyond Chocolate is Movement for everyBODY

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